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Sephiroth/Hotaru: Mutual Stupidity - Ravings of the Bunny [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Sephiroth/Hotaru: Mutual Stupidity [Mar. 13th, 2008|02:34 pm]
Ravings of a Bunny: Usagi Vindaloo's fic/icon/art

bunnycurry

[usagivindaloo]
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Title: Mutual Stupidity
Fandom: Sailor Moon/Final Fantasy VII
Pairing/Character: Sephiroth/Sailor Saturn
Rating: NC17 for smut (with a touch of both angry!sex and romantic fluff)
Summary: Direct sequel to lady_pamina's ficlet, Remember When It Rained. And I mean *direct* sequel, as in, five seconds later. ;-) Sephiroth and Hotaru celebrate their mutually close escape from death... and deal with the ramifications of it.
Dedication: lady_pamina, the other member of my Psychic Fangirl Link ^^
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. Final Fantasy VII belongs to Square Enix, Nomura Tetsuya, etc.
Author's Note: The first section in italics is actually taken verbatim from Lady Pam's fic, so it's not mine. ^^ Pam, I hope I managed to capture the aftermath of your scene well, not to mention getting the emotional cues you mentioned in comments. If not... please feel free to write your own sequel! =D



Hotaru awoke, late the next afternoon, warm and dry in her own bed. She sat up, despite the fact that she still felt drained. Sephiroth sat in a chair close to the bed and faced her directly. She felt herself shrink at his angry gaze. She looked down at the covers and picked at the threads. “I couldn’t lose you,” she whispered so soft it was almost as if she was speaking to herself. 



He stood up and walked up to the bed. He tilted her head up and face towards him.

“Idiot,” he said before kissing her full on the lips. 



“Moron,” she replied when their lips parted.


Having asserted their mutual stupidity, they kissed again, their arms wrapping around each other. For a few seconds, it was simply a gesture of reconciliation and tenderness... and then it was as if something released inside them, and their embrace became hungry, desperate. It was as if all the emotions from the fight and its aftermath, all the frustration and anguish and panic and sick relief that had consumed both of them, had to go somewhere... and as neither were exactly in the mood for a screaming match, it all exploded in the obvious alternate method of release.

Hotaru kissed Sephiroth fiercely, pressing her lips against him so firmly that she thought she might leave a bruise. Sephiroth returned her kiss with equal ferocity, as if he would devour her with the force of his need. The thought only inflamed Hotaru further, and her fingers scratched lightly over his back - not enough to draw blood, but enough to sting - desperate to grasp more of him, to touch more of his flesh. His body burned with arousal, and his smooth muscles flexed under her hands as if they were made to be there.

Oh gods, she needed him. Needed to feel him in his arms... needed to feel that body that had, for a brief moment on the rain-soaked pavement, looked so broken, so damaged. The thought made her want to scream or cry, so she muffled it by kissing him harder, a soft whimper in her throat.

The desperateness of Sephiroth's kiss, of those rough hands stroking her all over, told her that her lover was having similar thoughts. He knelt on the bed, straddling her, ravishing her with his touch. Hotaru realized with a start that she was in her nightdress; he must have helped her into it while she was still unconscious. Only fitting then that he helped her out of it, and so he did, tugging urgently at the silk as if his life depended on it, until he pulled it over her head and threw it away as if it was cursed.

As soon as Hotaru was naked, Sephiroth fell to attacking her body with hands and mouth, restless and eager beyond even his normal lust. Hotaru cried out, slipping her arms around his neck, savoring the relentless "assault" and the incredible feelings it aroused within her. She was panting so fast and deep she thought she might hyperventilate. Dizzy, she somehow had the presence of mind to reach out and start unzipping his pants, the only clothing he was currently wearing.

Sephiroth, for his part, was breathing heavily as he embraced her, almost trying to mould her against him. He nipped gently at the lobe of her ear, then whispered fiercely, voice hoarse with desire and passion, "Don't you ever, EVER do that again!"

Hotaru groaned in response. "That goes for you too!" she gasped, squirming as his hand threw aside the blanket covering her, slipped between her thighs, and fondled her. She was slick, ready for him. "If you ever do that again, I'll... I'll..." lacking words with which to properly threaten him, she lightly hit his shoulders with her closed fists before returning to stroking and caressing him.

Sephiroth's moan of desire made her shiver with delight, his hardness now uncovered and pressing insistently against her thigh as he shifted her onto his lap. "Don't try and change the subject," he growled between kisses. His voice held some anger in it, but only serving to fuel his desire and desperate love. "Don't you dare use your energy like that again. When you collapsed, I nearly..."

Hotaru cut him off with a cry of ecstasy as, with a roll of her hips, she plunged down on Sephiroth's hard, eager sex. Her cry was echoed by her lover, his voice quieter, hoarser, as they shared the sharp pleasure of his cock sheathing itself within her. It had never felt quite like this, sensation so keen it was almost painful... but perhaps that was just the mix of emotions, anger and relief and bittersweetness all mixing with that endless, eternal tenderness they felt for each other. Hotaru began moving after only a few seconds, longing for that final climax.

"You're one to talk," she breathed, her own frustration doing nothing to diminish either her ardor or her adoration for this man... in fact, only heightening it. "If you weren't such an arrogant son of a bitch... always thinking you're indestructible... I... I..." her line of thought petered out as he thrust deeply into her, filling her to her very core. How could she be so infuriated with him and yet love him all the more for it? "Don't..." Don't you ever scare me like that again, she wanted to say. Don't leave me...Don't stop, please... but for some reason the words stuck in her throat and threatened to make her cry, so for the sake of both her pride and his, she swallowed them, and instead said, "Promise me you won't ever play the big damn hero like that again..."

"Screw you," Sephiroth moaned, and even in her current state of mind, a part of Hotaru snickered at his choice of words. "I'm not going to... I..." he trailed off into a intense groan that made her insides turn to liquid, his thrusts going even deeper as he abandoned himself to his need. Hotaru whimpered in response to his passion, holding onto him tightly as he bucked against her. Sephiroth gasped and sighed with each movement, with each deep thrust, more vocal than he ever had been before. Holding her close, the rest of his words came out in an incoherent rush, indignation mixed with hoarse whispers of love. "Damn you... I love you so much..."

"Sephiroth!" Hotaru's cry of pleasure was sharp, breathless as she rode the waves of ecstasy to their imminent end. "I love you too, oh god, please... ah! AH!"

Three quick strokes, and they were both lost. Hotaru screamed as climax pierced her like a knife's edge, cutting through her with pleasure so intense it almost hurt. Sephiroth roared in unison with her, driving himself deep within her, a hot jet of warmth causing her to spasm again and again with the joy of it. They clung together as they shook from their mutual orgasm, clinging to each other as if they were about to drown.

And then it was over, the wild tumult of climax fading into the deep exhaustion and satisfaction of the afterglow. Hotaru sighed and went limp against Sephiroth's chest, totally drained from their frantic lovemaking. Sephiroth's breath panted in her ear, his chest heaving and his heartbeat still quick against her ear. He embraced her tightly, holding her against him, and she relaxed, listening to their soft breaths.

After a while, she pulled away slightly so she could look at him. Sephiroth's eyes were slightly hooded and heavy-lidded from satisfaction, but there was a certain wistful solemnness as he looked at her. At a loss for anything to say, Hotaru leaned upwards and kissed him again, this time softly and affectionately. He hesitated only briefly before returning the kiss. Hotaru cupped his cheek, trailing her fingers over his jawline before smoothing her palm down over his neck. Slowly, almost lazily, her hand trailed down over his collarbone towards the center of his chest...

Hotaru froze.

Breaking the kiss, she looked down at where her hand was resting. Beneath her fingers, she could feel Sephiroth's heartbeat, strong and steady, and the skin of his chest was smooth and warm... no blemishes, no scars.

And yet, for a horrible moment, her mind flashed back to that rain-soaked pavement that seemed not so long ago, and she remembered the horrible gaping wound underneath where her hand now rested... could feel the red wetness welling out beneath her fingers...

She didn't realize she was trembling until Sephiroth placed his hand over hers, pressing her palm against his heartbeat. "I'm all right," he whispered, somehow knowing what had frozen her. "See? I'm here... I'm all right."

But it was too late to push down the rush of memory... the fear, the panic, the unbearable anguish she'd felt the moment she'd seen his injury. Despite his warm and unblemished skin, she couldn't stop thinking of those horrific claw marks, trailing glowing red blood down that smooth chest, exposing flesh and muscle and making her own chest clench in shared agony... and emotions even more powerful than that. She was back there, in the rain, feeling the blood of the man she loved more than life itself ebb beneath her fingers... her trembling became full on shivering, and her teeth began to chatter as shock mixed with irrational grief...

Then suddenly, she was wrapped in warm arms, enfolded in her lover's embrace. Her face was pressed against his chest, her hand still caught between them in that fateful spot... and his dear, dusky voice was in her ear, shushing her gently.

Her throat ached, and tears welled up in her eyes unbidden. No, she... she couldn't cry. She hated crying; it made her feel weak, it made her feel like she was letting both him down and herself... she shut her eyes tight against the tears, tried desperately to swallow down the lump in her throat, but it still threatened to claw its way out...

"Shhh..." Sephiroth whispered, gentle as a caress. "It's okay."

The first sob escaped her lips before she could stop it. "I was so scared!" she cried through clenched teeth. "I thought I'd lose you... I was so scared...!" Her voice choked off, and she buried her face against his chest, her whole body shaking with repressed sobs. "Oh god, I was so scared, Sephiroth!"

If he found her crying distasteful, he didn't show it at all. Rather, he held her even closer, gently shushing her, rocking her in a soothing motion. Somehow, it untwisted the knot in her chest, a little, and the next sob came a little easier, a little less torturous. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Hotaru hugged him with all her strength as she cried quietly, not willing to let him go even for a second... afraid that if she did, he'd somehow slip away from her.

They remained like that for a while, Hotaru overwhelmed by shock, fear, and relief after her lover's brush with danger. Eventually, the faint muffled sounds of her weeping faded into slight sniffles, but still Sephiroth did not relinquish his hold on her, still rocking her soothingly. Hotaru drew a shaky breath and pressed closer, glad for the comfort. "I couldn't lose you," she whispered softly, echoing her first words on waking up. "You were hurt... I couldn't just stand back and..." she swallowed harshly, then repeated. "I couldn't lose you."

A moment of silence. Then a shudder ran through her lover as he whispered back, hoarsely, "I couldn't lose you either."

Blinking, Hotaru looked up in surprise to find Sephiroth looking down at her, eyes glowing with solemn intensity. "S-Sephiroth?"

He reached out and gently brushed the tears off her cheeks. "I could never lose you. That's why... that's why I pushed you out of the way. I couldn't..." he paused, hesitant as always to express himself verbally."...I couldn't let you be hurt. And when you collapsed like that..." he shook his head, biting his lip. "I... I was..."

Hotaru's eyes widened, understanding beginning to dawn. "You... you were scared, too?"

Immediately as the words left her mouth, she regretted them; Sephiroth's pride was easily bruised, and openly asking him whether he was frightened wasn't the wisest or most tactful thing she could have done. Nevertheless, he mused on it for a few moments, then replied in a low voice. "... yes. Yes, I was."

"Sephiroth..." Hotaru whispered, then quieted as he lay his fingertips on her lips to silence her.

"The thought of living my life without you... living even a single moment without you... I can't... I couldn't bear it," he murmured. "I didn't even think twice about pushing you away, if that was what was at stake. The thought of you being hurt, or... I don't think I'd ever known fear like that before."

Hotaru repressed a shiver of awe and gratitude. The idea of this strong, fearless man being scared to lose her touched her deeply, but the realization of how far his love and his need to protect her went... it made her heart ache. To think there was someone who loved her enough to stand between her and a rampaging youma... his devotion made her tremble, and she found another lump in her throat. Rather than give in to further emotion and possibly embarrass him, however, she instead smiled. "Well, now I feel a little guilty for slapping you and screaming at you," she said in a half-hearted attempt at a joke... though in truth, she did feel bitter regret about it now. "I'm sorry... you really made me worry, though."

She expected him to chuckle in reply, but if anything, he grew more serious. Stroking some of her short black hair away from her face, he looked at her earnestly, as if trying to search her eyes for the words to express himself. In the end, he finally whispered, "... no one's ever done that for me before."

"Hmm?" Hotaru tilted her head in puzzlement. "Done what?"

As if to answer, Sephiroth's fingers gently brushed over the remnants of her tears on her cheeks.

Hotaru's eyes widened. After a moment of silence between them, Sephiroth whispered, "... no one's ever wept for me before."

Damn him, how did he always manage to say things so simply, so profoundly, as to make her want to cry all over again? She caught his hand in hers, pressing it against her cheek. "Sephiroth..."

"No one's ever cried for me before," he went on, the words for once coming out in a bit of a rush. "No one's ever slapped me before, not like that at least...not because they were worried about me." He closed his eyes, and Hotaru was suddenly struck by the memory of his expression after she struck him and yelled at him through her tears... his face had been stunned, green eyes wide with shock. Now she realized that it might not have only been her unusual lapse of temper that had so stunned him. "And no one..." he hesitated, then plunged ahead. "... no one has ever risked their life for mine before."

"No one?" Hotaru breathed, sympathy and love in her voice. "It's so hard to imagine... I mean, someone like you should always have someone willing to put their life on the line..."

He shook his head. "The closest to that was the men in SOLDIER, and that was only professional. In all my life, I've never had someone... who actually CARED about me enough to want me to live... even if it meant sacrificing themselves." He struggled for words. "To think... you actually love me that much... I... do you have any idea how amazing that is to someone like me?"

Hotaru thought of a charging youma, of a strong leather-clad form shielding her from the final blow. "Yes," she breathed softly, "yes, I have an idea."

Sephiroth sighed, stroking Hotaru's naked back. "It's just... I can't really believe it. I mean, I don't really deserve..."

"Stop it," Hotaru said firmly, touching his chin and forcing him to look at her. "You say that, you say that it's this big special thing I did... but you were the one who risked his life to protect me in the first place."

She saw him waver, but only just. "It was nothing. That was different..." he protested.

"How?"

"You're..." he tried to find the best way to say it, "... you're different. You're special."

Slight indignation flared, but dwarfed next to the rush of tenderness she felt. "So what, you're saying that it's no big deal to risk your life for me because I'm so wonderful, but you're not, so it's a big shock when someone likes you enough to cry for you and risk themselves for you?"

Sephiroth opened his mouth, closed it again, then said, "... actually, yes, that's pretty much exactly what I'm saying."

Oh. Well, at least no one could accuse him of lack of clarity, no matter what his fears about verbalizing his feelings were. "Sephiroth..." she sighed.

He cut her off. "Look, Hotaru, I'm not under any illusions here. I may have a lot of pride, but let's face it, it's about my skills and my abilities and the face I show to the world." He shook his head. "Everything else... it's not worth much. Not like you." He met her gaze, and Hotaru was moved by the depth of devotion she could see in his eyes. "You... deserve that level of devotion. You're a good person... I'm not. I don't deserve to have anyone shedding tears on my account, let alone sacrificing themselves on my behalf. And especially not someone as loving as you." He shook his head, as if trying to make sense of it all. "I..."

He was cut off by the soft, butterfly-like sensation of Hotaru's lips on his. She kissed him gently, the touch almost a caress, filled with unbearable tenderness. He shuddered, then responded, kissing back just as gently. Their lips touched again and again, each kiss softer and more loving than the last.

"I love you," Hotaru whispered between kisses. Another shudder passed through her lover's body, and she smiled. "I love you more than anything..." Another kiss. "Don't talk to me about what you deserve, what you're not worthy of... you deserve it all. Everything, and more." Her lips brushed over his. "You're so beautiful, inside and out, and you don't see it..." Pulling away slightly, she smiled up at him. "And besides... it's my decision to make. It doesn't matter what anyone says, not even you." She ran her fingertips over his lips. "It's my choice to be with you... my choice to give my life for you. My choice."

She felt him stiffen. "So... when you say you choose to give your life for me, then..."

"I'm sorry, Sephiroth," she murmured, apologetic but gently firm. "I know what you want... you want me to promise that I'll never risk myself that way again. And I wish I could, if only to make you happy, but..." she gently pushed a stray lock of silver hair away from his forehead. "... I can't make that promise. I... I mean it when I say I can't lose you. It might never happen again, but... I'm sorry. If you get hurt, I'm going to heal you... even if it means..." She raised a hand to cup his cheek, then, unsure, let it drop.

She saw a myriad of emotions in Sephiroth's eyes - anger that she would risk herself, worry for her safety, overwhelmed gratitude that she would care for him that much... but it was all overwhelmed by the love so intense it made his eyes glow. He bent his head to murmur in her ear. "Only realize that it goes both ways... that no matter what you say, no matter how much you tell me not to play the hero... when it comes down to it, I would do it all over again." He took her hand and placed it again on his chest, letting her feel the strong heartbeat underneath his unscarred skin. "I would take that wound, and a thousand more, to keep you safe." Unexpectedly, his lips quirked in a grin. "Even if it means you'll slap me and scream at me some more."

Whatever consternation his assertion - not to mention his ego - might have caused her faded under the rush of tenderness that filled her. In the end, they were both stubborn, both intent on doing things their way... but it was all right.

"Idiot," she whispered, without the faintest trace of anger, or teasing... only warmth and affection, and a beautiful promise.

"Moron," he replied, and the way he spoke made it the sweetest, most tender endearment she'd ever heard. She melted against him, opening herself to him on every level, parting her soft lips and kissing him as the seal of their mutual devotion. In response, he laid her down on the bed, sliding his arms around her, slipping back between her thighs as if it was the only place in the world for him.

They made love slowly and gently this time, every touch a caress, every sensation built carefully and savored. Hands, lips, mouths moved everywhere, not urgently, but almost relaxed, indulging in each other's skin. When Sephiroth slid inside her again, it was as if it was yet another caress, another feeling entwined with all the other beautiful sensations. The room filled with silken sounds... the rustle of bedsheets, skin brushing against skin, the slight slick noise of his sex penetrating hers... soft whispers, quiet sighs of pleasure. Hotaru gasped faintly as she felt her insides flutter with every touch, every kiss, every thrust Sephiroth lavished her body with. Her body welcomed him eagerly, her slick folds kissing and pulling at his warm, hard length with every thrust. Her legs entwined around his waist and her arms around his neck, they tangled together, again and again, whispering soft nothings to each other even as fingers stroked and caressed, weaving their magic spell over each other. They surrendered utterly to the quiet noises and touches, each movement a joy, each moan a pleasure.

If the previous climax had been an explosion, this was a swell of the sea. The ecstasy was banked slowly, deliberately, each moment building on the one before, all rising to the final peak. Hotaru reached it before she'd realized she was there, the soft whirlwind of sensation suddenly engulfing her and overwhelming her with the pleasure. She didn't scream, only let out a long breath as she plunged into bliss. Sephiroth's hoarse moan sounded both like it was coming from a million miles away, and as if it came from within her heart; the sudden bloom of warmth within her melded perfectly with the moment, and for that beautiful instant, she ceased to be separate from him.

A little while later, they lay in each other's arms, still intoxicated from the quiet pleasure they had just shared and the warm afterglow that followed. A smile lingered on Hotaru's lips as she rested her head on Sephiroth's chest. She could hear his heartbeat, now slowing slightly after their exertion, and it comforted her, reassured her even as it lulled her.

"Sephiroth," she whispered hoarsely...

"Shhh..." he murmured, voice slightly husky. "Get some rest... you still need to get your energy back."

"Says the man who just had sex with me twice," Hotaru quipped dreamily, and was rewarded by a chuckle and soft apology. Still, it was a very nice idea, and she relaxed fully, letting the warm body beneath her cushion her as she drifted off.

The last thing she heard was the beat of Sephiroth's heart, strong enough to survive any injury... and firm in its adoration of her.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: midnight_fae24
2008-03-15 10:13 am (UTC)
You used the word "inkling" and it's one of my favorites.

I'm such a walking contradiction because half the time I'm a cynical bitch and the other I'm a hopeless romantic. Put that together with being an adamant feminist and guess that's why I'm all like "NO CRYING! PERIOD! SUCK IT UP! END OF STORY!" I actually used to cry a lot when I was younger. However now, I'm permanently stuck with this whole "gotta be strong and not cry" mentality. I still can get pretty weepy at times.

I always hated reading over feminine heroines who always cried. I just got to associate tears with them and being weak. I have a passion for strong female heroes who have the balance between masculinity and femininity. That's why I write Hotaru the way I do. I <3 Sephiroth/Hotaru fanfiction. I don't <3 the idea of going back to classes on Monday.
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[User Picture]From: usagivindaloo
2008-03-16 07:43 pm (UTC)
Inkling is such a great word! =D I use it whenever I can. Most people get annoyed at me for being a bit of a walking dictionary at times, but honestly, some words are just too cool not to use on a regular basis. ^^

Yeah, I can certainly see how you wouldn't like the weepiness etc. I think I sort of ended up taking a bit of a different developmental tack and ended up seeing tears as a sign of "strength in weakness," or something like that... i.e. that a person who cries is someone who's strong enough to SHOW their weakness rather than cover it up with a "brave face". Or something like that. >.> Not that there's anything wrong with the latter, of course, but it's something that I decided not to do... I'll cry when I feel like crying, damn it. ;D

I sometimes play off this as a potential character point for Hotaru and her relationship with Sephiroth. For the most part, in canon and before she meets Sephiroth, she doesn't cry much because she wants to be "strong" and show that strength. Being with Sephiroth, however, and coming to rely on his strength to a certain extent, let's her realize that on occasion, it's okay to be weak, it's okay to break down sometimes. Especially when you spend all your energy trying to be strong! That's why I have her sometimes cry when Sephiroth's around... she feels safe enough with him that she can just let all her rigid strength and fortitude crumble for a while and be vulnerable. Of course, the reverse also applies too (Sephiroth probably doesn't "cry" much per se, but he certainly is far more vulnerable with her at times).

Anyway, just my idea of one way their relationship and characters could develop... your mileage may vary, but hey, even if you disagree, I'm sure we still count as psychic fangirls.

(And for the record, while I have Hotaru crying a bit when Sephiroth is near - either due to relationship stuff, or sometimes some non-relationship thing that upsets her and makes her turn to him for comfort - I'm definitely not the type who goes for Hotaru sitting alone in her room, angsting and whimpering and crying and listening to Emo Band Du Jour. Crying and emo is a bit like strong spice... a very little goes a long, LONG way, and too much just ruins the dish. ^^)
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[User Picture]From: usagivindaloo
2008-03-19 06:12 am (UTC)
Well, I finished the fic. I hope you like it... it's a bit of a departure, but I think it works. Let me know your opinion. ^^
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